“A Vipassana retreat is a mental gym and the meditation sessions are like lifting weights”

Meditation. Yes. Believe it or not, I was in need of some. Here’s how it happened…

I took the bus to Dolores, a pueblito 5km from Capilla de Monte. Curiously, nearby Cerro Uritorco is famous for an extremely high number of UFO sightings and a rumoured subterranean community dwell under the mountain. Loco 🙂

“Change my perception…change my world” – coincidence at the bus station on my way to find ‘my marbles’ in Dolores

I was on my way to my first Vipassana course. After two years of curiosity and much whisper on the grapevine, an opportune moment had finally opened it’s petals like a lotus flower.

What is Vipassana?

It’s a type of secular Meditation taught at centres across the globe. Vi-passana means ‘seeing things as they really are’ in Pali, a language spoken at the time of the Buddha in India 2,500 years ago.

This technique of mind purification was taught by a wonderful evangelical Myanmese man named S.N. Goenka during his lifetime. 

And what does it do?

Through practice, Vipassana cultivates mindfulness: the ability to observe each moment with awakened, sharpened senses. The technique also teaches Equanimity, the art of observing rather than following addictive feelings of craving and aversion that can drive us all potty. Another fundamental to Vipassana is the Law of Impermanence and ‘Anitcha’ meaning ‘always changing’ which teaches the futility of clinging (on to things, thoughts, ideas) a self-destructive habit that inevitably leads to misery.

So far so good, si?!

A man called Gautama became ‘the Buddha’ meaning ‘the Enlightened One’ when he unlocked the secret of life through meditation.

Witty and charming S.N. Goenka (1924-2013) was a wealthy businessman from a rich family before changing his path and touring the world teaching Vipassana meditation to anyone willing to commit to the discipline of 10-day course. Compassionately, he also took the course into prisons.

Sensory blindness

Why Vipassana?

Somehow, I was stuck in a rushing rut.  Apparently, there’s a name for this ingrained habit, it’s called ‘hurry sickness’ when you feel a constant urge to rush even when there’s no reason to.

It was time to confront this imaginary treadmill! The quality of my day to day experience had been suffering for too long – yes, despite those amazing Patagonian peaks!! My sense of intuition had become murky and I was thirsting for some kind of mental deep clean.

Lessons in the Art of Living

This was what I signed up to. As students we were asked to ‘surrender’ to a (no.1) disciplined routine of 11 hours of meditation daily rising starting at 4.30am and finishing each day at 9.30pm. 

To (no.2) Noble Silence. In order for the ‘chattering mind’ to settle, no communication is allowed for the duration – yes – this means no speaking, eye contact, physical contact, no conversation, no interaction. So-called ‘noble’ because everyone commits to this for communal benefit.

On arrival at the centre I was reminded of another condition of Vipassana: (no.3) the segregation of men and women. And never the twain shall meet as a result of a rope dividing the site into two separate gender zones.

After registration we (no.4) relinquished our mobile phones, car keys, valuables and any writing or reading material.

With all distractions are removed, preparing to scrub down to begin the “mental surgery” (Goenka’s words!) we changed into (no.5) modest loose clothing covering our legs and shoulders and prepared for an early night!

Oh Dahlias!

We’re all in this together!

I was content. No speaking for 10 days was a welcome change in gear to constant social interaction. Paz! Peace.

The tightly woven routine meant that there was little room to ruminate, to fret over decision making. Like a lassoed wild pony my mind gradually began to relax into submission.

I was within a small isolated world where 100 of us, students and serving staff, were committed to the same squeaky-clean standard. There was a nest-like comfort in that. Camaraderie and kinship were high. Valio la pena! This is worth it!

Just like all those negative thinking habits the ‘leaves’ fell from ‘the tree’ (my miiiiiiiiind!)

La Rutina

Each day we were roused out of our slumber by a gong (grrrr!).

By 4.25am I was outside wrapped in my meditation blanket gazing up at the starry sky and taking in some deep breaths of fresh autumnal air.

Mi cubrecama became the perfect meditation blanket plus fleecey pandas are always a good thing

The gong sounded again at 4.30am and it was time to assume crossed-legged position in ‘la sala’, a hall with a snug grid formation of other students, eyes closed, sat upright, breathing slowly….sometimes to the point of snoring. One memorable morning, one of the chaps was shaken gently awake after…. the fine veil between meditation and sleep had merged.

By 6.30am stomachs were growling and the gong (yay!) sounded for breakfast. There was time until 8am to have ‘un descanso’ = back to bed for some extra sleep.

Not for the faint hearted. Should I stay or should I go?!

Silent days & hard work

(…is the name of a Vipassana blog post by Amelie, ‘un estudiante antiguo’ and one of many lovely people I met on the course. Her title was too good not to recycle.)

From 8am the marathon of meditation really began with hourly sessions for the rest of the day and the 9 days to follow.

Our sanity was saved with 10-minute comfort breaks in between. A walk around the garden to gaze at the origami petals of Dahlias or flop back and find entertainment in passing clouds high above became engrossing as my noisy brain quietened.

TIME! to study the perfectly folded petals of these Dahlias and feel the marvel that they deserve. What a luxury

Has Anyone seen my Marbles?

I’d signed up to my first Vipassana with very little meditation experience so arrived with some trepidation…..what if I lost my marbles, threw a wobbly and embarrassed myself?!

AaaaaaaAAAAARRRGgggggRRRRRRHHHHHHhhhhhh!

To my relief, this didn’t happen 🙂 All gratitude to La Professor Alicia, a very smiley patient person leading the camp and my favourite time of day: recorded lectures from Mr. Goenka himself every evening. These offered the same comfort as bedtime stories. Through his wise delivery laden with witty anecdotes we were coaxed into the technique:

1. Of observing my natural breath & rising happy thoughts (craving) and unhappy thoughts (aversion). We did this for 3 days.

2…progressing to observing the small sensation of air passing through my nostrils.

Over a further 3 days I learnt the deep concentration to channel focus, like a magnifying glass, on this sensation and greet those rising thoughts of craving and aversion with equanimity. It felt like tightrope walking with a blindfold in fog – tricky! 

3…and finally progressing to observing sensations across the body through a mental scan “from the crown of the head to the tips of the toes”.

Super-high concentration required! but eventually I could feel my pulse quietly beating away in the skin of my cheeks…tension in the little muscles at my temples and in my throat…those miniature movements within my very own body, wow.

4.By day 5 we were also practising a stage of the training called ‘Strong Determination’. This was defined by sitting in the same position motionless for 1 hour 3x times a day. As inevitable pain arose we focused our new-found mind mastery skills (loud cough) in observing and (theoretically) lessening the unpleasant sensation. Hmmmmm…

I think comic artist Yumi Sakugawa knows a thing or two about Vipassana (www.yukisakugawa.com)

—-Sl-o-w-l-y—–does it

Just when I was wanted to kick-out at this asylum lifestyle with internal bursts of tantrum, Goenka’s witty telepathic explanations set me back on ‘el camino’/ the path. Morale was restored! The technique felt manageable, enjoyable through the personal discovery, challenging – oh yes! – but I felt progress —-s-l-o-w-l-y—- unfurling just like the unfolding petals of those Dahlias.

I enjoyed moments of clarity as the ability to observe became easier. I began to find an albeit slippery grip on the elusive sense of Equanimity as my desire to escape into daydream or ruminate and replay former ‘negativities’ rose up again and again and again.

The quote at the start of this story is pretty accurate expression of my Vipassana experience. This mental re-training was and continues to be HARD WORK!

Imagine herding cats….

….more Yumi insight….

Valio la Pena!

To conclude: after 10 days of incubation, my senses were significantly more sensitive and that was a novelty. I’d learnt some basics in ‘ Art of Living’. Thank you Mr. Goenka!

I could settle in moments and pay (and enjoy!) attention where that attention had once been swamped with mental junk. Hurrah!

Once the rule of Noble Silence was lifted it was strange to notice that only short conversations were possible before a headache and sore throat began from heightened sensitivity.

And…..I’d experienced a glimpse of something subtle but brilliant. To get there had been hard work undoubtedly but now, with the understanding that through self-mastery another experience of life is lying there parallel, I sincerely look forward to my next Vipassana undertaking, some time later in 2016 to top up!

Visit Dhamma.org for more info

Call me a pansy but after weeks of hitchhiking, camping and many damp days in lush green Chile I was hankering for some cosy R&R by the time I reached El Calafate.

My little pop-up dwelling on the banks of Lago Rivadavia

Emotional Digestion

The introvert in me yearned for a warm quiet room with blankets, hot tea and a window from which to gaze. To daydream, …reflect, …read. A term I’ve coined is emotional digestion.

For me, travelling longer term is only possible when I heed the call of this restorative time. Dashing from one place to another –sin una pausa- is my idea of hell.

Glacier Perito Moreno, looking like a dead ringer for a wedge of polystyrene

A Glacier puts TIME into perspective

However, I met lovely people as soon as I arrived. The next day the sun shone brightly and an invitation was there to join Lalo, Fernando and Stingy Nomads Alya and Campbell and see the anticipated Perito Moreno glacier.

Together we made a pilgrimage to this icy landscape in the mountains 80 kms north of El Calafate.

Here’s a sense of where El Calafate is in relation to the rest of the country

Who was Perito Moreno anyway?

Francisco ‘Perito’ Moreno was an Argentine explorer and scientist of the Patagonian landscape. Perito means ‘specialist’ or ‘expert’. This beast of a glacier, named in his honour is one of only three glaciers in Patagonia that is not retreating.

Francisco ‘Perito’ Moreno (1852-1919)

Forever in flux this startling entity creaks, gushes and sheds ice but grows slowly too. Wooden terraces on one side allow you to see the glacier from above or lower down near laguna level where it attaches to the earth on the shore.

I found a quiet place to sit and begin my comprehension of this Thing yearning for the company of a geologist to make it all: Make Sense!

Vital Statistics

The glacier measures 3 miles (5 km) wide and 19 miles (30km) in length. It covers 97 mi² (250 km²).

The ice measures 60 m high on average although at it’s greatest it reaches 700 m. Apparently only 10% is visible with the remaining 90% bobbing away under all of that turquoise water.

“Glacier Perito Moreno is one of 48 glaciers that comprise the Southern Patagonian Ice Field. With an area of 6,800 mi² (16,800 km²) it is the second largest contiguous ice field in the world, stretching across the southern Andes, measuring almost 220 miles (355 km) long and 30 miles (48 km) wide. Along with the Northern Patagonian Ice Field, these present day ice fields are remnants of the last Ice Age (18,000-17,500 years ago), when all of southern Chile and Argentina was covered in a thick sheet of ice (an area estimated to be about 480,000 km² or just under 300,000 mi²)” (Source here)

A quick sketch in my notebook trying to make sense of time and how a glacier slowly comes into existence

My Understanding

Over thousands of years the glacier has grown through accumulation, rather like an icicle. Falling rain and snow in the valley between two mountain peaks land, freeze and compress in conditions that are continuously cold. As a result, according to the Guarda Parque, all of this compacted ice slowly grows into being the awesome ever-changing glacial mass that it is today.

A Glacial Guru

The invitation to sit and muse over these huge stretches of time came at a perfect moment. There before me was a gargantuan metaphor offering a lesson of life in the slow lane. It’s not the first time I’ve looked to the landscape around me for life coaching. My guru.

A memory was also sparked back to the wise words of young Sam, a tall tanned Californian and hitchhiking buddy on the roadside of Villa Castillo, Chile.

“The rush…?

…we’re only rushing against ourselves”

Orientation in Villa Castillo, Chile

Camionettas and combis turned Cocina cafe for hungry hitchhikers in Villa Castillo, Chile

Such simple words and I decided he was right. I understood for a short while that this sense of speed was illusory and addictive. The choice is always there to step-off that imaginary hamster wheel and reset your metronome to your own pace.

Well, that was what I planned to do anyway.